The Art of Editing (Sekirei)

Oh look, another post already.

And another joyful reason for it. The manga series Sekirei, let’s be honest, isn’t one of the greatest. The author should’ve probably stuck with the harem battle thingy instead of just throwing it into a some kind of weird final. Welp, it’s one way to end it, I guess. You can pretty much smell that he’s on his wit’s end. And you can pretty much smell that the scanlation group doing it is on their wit’s end, too.

The last three chapters I’ve read were just bonkers. I can’t speak for anything before that since I’ve forgotten almost all the contents, not even speaking of the translation quality. I’ve simply read them since I kinda want to just bring it to an end. It’s really curious. The English itself isn’t per se wrong. It just literally makes no sense. They’re saying more or less valid sentences that don’t connect. The translation doesn’t give two effs about logic. You never know what they really say. You have to guess. But let’s have a look at an example page I’ve taken. It’s not especially bad or good, it’s just a random pick. And I’ll try to improve it; when I get what they’re saying at least.

Example


Screenshot_2015-08-25-18-14-06

Scene 1

Kusano-tan was adjusted together with no. 107.
Adjusted? Probably more like calibrated. Let’s go with “No. 107 and Kusano-tan were calibrated together.
...Which means
Why, just why would you put the dots in front? You lack a punctuation mark then. “Which means…” or “Which would mean…” or “Meaning…”
It is conceivable that the powers of those two have been paired up.
Paired up? Conceivable? “Which means” does already vaguely suggest something like “it is conceivable” – which would be an awkward way to say it anyway. It’s simply “Their powers are linked.”

Scene 2

Like how no. 107's powers aren't restricted to vegetation, Kusano-tan's powers are likely restricted to vegetation.
Confusing. Just plain confusing. It’d also be nice to go with the bubble positioning. Right is Kusano, so might as well mention her first. “Like how Kusano-tan is restricted to Vegetation, (new bubble) while no. 107 isn’t.
...And, thus,
More punctuation thingies than words. Again, the dots in front, whyever. “So…”

Scene 3

Mutsu thinks Mina-tan has the power to draw *that* out of her. This i sbased on what I heard a long time ago from Takehito-tan.
Yay typos, yay QC. Sentence makes little sense. Who is “her” here? I’ll skip the first part of the line. “That’s what I’ve heard from Takehito-tan a long time ago, anyway.”
In situations like this, you should be trying anything out.
Situations is plural, “this” isn’t. Overall awkward phrasing. “But in this kinda situation, you should go with whatever you have, right?

Scene 4

Kusano-tan is completely motivated <3
Er… what? She’s on fire, I guess? “Kusano-tan’s really fired up, you know.♡
SFX
The SFX doesn’t say “mmmm”. It’s “ラン” if you ask me. And looking it up in the SFX database it means, “SFX for an eye expression, for intense, fiery eyes.”

Scene 5

Ku, Ku-chan...
Ugh. Don’t put stuttering like that. “K-Ku-chan…”
SFX
“Mu” is a SFX for expressing pouting/anger. Here it’s “nmu”. She doesn’t look angry either. It’s probably just some sighing with pleasure or so. God knows if there’s a word for that, I sure don’t.

Overall, this gets a failing mark. Stuff makes too little sense and that’s just sad.

3 thoughts on “The Art of Editing (Sekirei)

  1. The vegetation part and “trying anything out” were pretty funny.
    It wasn’t a bad anime, but personally I’d have liked more comedy. The thing I mostly remember this show for is the noses. ( ^ ) ^)

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